Avengers vs X-Men event review

AVENGERS VS X-MEN 

by Jason Aaron, Brian Michael Bendis, Matt Fraction, Johnathan Hickman, Ed Brubaker, Adam Kubert, Oliver Copiel and John Romita Jr.

So, in case you haven't noticed from my Trinity War reviews, I've compared that event to Avengers vs X-Men a lot. And you've probably noticed my opinion of it can be summed up in three words: It sucks ass. But today, I'm going back up my statement with some cold hard facts. That's right, it's actually not even an opinion. It's the truth. Avengers vs X-Men is one of the worst, if not, the worst event comic I have ever read in my existence.

OK. So, instead of my normal review format, of reviewing the story and art separately, let's take Avengers vs X-Men by act. Keep in mind, if you haven't read AVX yet, you will be spoiled 100%, but that doesn't matter because you shouldn't read this shit anyway. I will shamefully admit that I did think AVX had a promising #0, most likely due to Frank Cho's gorgeous art. However, the writing was actually very inconsistent, and you could tell that the scripters had change due to the severe tone of dialogue and mood itself. And then, we got to #1. The writing in the story had quickly devolved from inconsistent but decent enough into borderline Scott Lobdell territory. All of the Avengers were pretty much written the same, save for Tony Stark as a slightly less sarcastic version of himself. And the X-Men... Were quite possibly given the worse treatment in the event. They were made out to be the villains, when the real foe was the terrible writing. I mean, Cyclops was written as if he were Magneto, and Magneto as if he were Cyclops. My biggest gripe was how everything just felt so forced, and the fact these two teams were even fighting was already a tired concept to begin with. I mean, Mark Millar and Chris Bachalo kicked this event's ass way early in their career with Ultimate War, and even better, in 4 issues. Also, what the hell was Ed Brubaker even THINKING? I mean, I love his Captain  America run, his Batman run (Bruce Wayne: Murderer is the most underrated comic storyline in history) and Fatale, but he had no business writing any of this. And don't even get me started on the art. While Romita actually does a decent job on the first two issues, his art devolves into nothing more than lines on paper than slightly resemble the characters. If Marvel had either, A: Just released the event monthly instead of this rushed and forced biweekly shipping schedule, giving Romita more time to polish his art, or B: Simply keep the guy on one thing instead of making him do this, while at the same time getting ready for Kick-Ass 3 and Captain America, this would have looked much better. I mean, the main theme of AVX overall seemed to be showing us good comic creators at their worst level, and Romita Jr normally kicks ass (pun intended). However, the biggest "What the hell were you thinking, Marvel?!" moment in the entire first act, was the Phoenix 5. While yes, one writer does his best to make the most of these characters in Act 2 (I'll get to that later), this event would've been better if it simply was Hope, and that way, this trash would've taken less time to read. Besides the #0, the one high point of the first act,  must have been issue 4, which had some legitimately decent writing, and a pretty funny moment between Wolverine and Hope. It's actually kind of surprising considering Johnathan Hickman wrote it. And if you know me, you know he wrote another #4 that's.. Well... The less said about it the better. Despite all of the crap I'm giving Act 1, don't worry, it gets worse. But, let's move on to some positive stuff.

Act 2 was the most enjoyable bit of the event. With one issue that I can actually call... GOOD, it had some freaking beautiful art, and Adam Kubert drawing one issue, which I'll get to later. So, issue #6 of AVX is actually an interesting beast to review. Again, Hickman wrote all of the good bits of the event, and this was again, written by him. There were some great real world parallels to the work of the Phoenix Five, and the Avengers were made out to be the douchebags, though they were given a legit motive. But then issue 7 came along, and the event went to crap once more. Out of character actions and dialogues (not for the Phoenix 5, but for the Avengers themselves), a ridiculously terrible twist involving the Scarlet Witch, and worse, giving Adam Kubert one more issue to draw than he was originally supposed... Yeah Marvel, bad call. Oliver Copiel on art was the best thing to happen to the event. He only drew a few issues, (he went on to draw an extra issue for Act 3), but his art looked clean, consistent, epic, and even grandiose, but like I said, Adam Kubert took over an issue early. By issue 3, the event had lost any sort of sense of wonder, spectacle, or originality, and Act 2 was a tired mess to read. But thankfully, Copiel's renderings made this less difficult to read than it could have.

Remember when I said the event actually gets worse than Act 1? Enter, Act 3. Now, another creator I'm not a fan of: Adam Kubert. I'm much more of a fan of Andy Kubert's work, and personally consider him to be the superior Kubert bro (that's ok Adam, you have full permission to punch me in the face if we meet in real life). And it really shows why I'm not a fan of Adam Kubert in this event. But before that, I just want to point out how bad the writing gets in this act. Remember when I said the writing could go into borderline Lobdell territory? This act is the closest the creators get. Much of the dialogue makes barely any sense due to the characters being poorly written, there's some idiotic kung-fu nonsense that supposedly ties into the Phoenix that's ridiculous even for a comic book, and the absolute worst final issue of any event I've ever read just.... Just, no. If you want an idea of how bad the writing is, here's a dialogue sample from issue 12: "So Wanda said, 'No more mutants' and the mutant population was reduced to barely 5%. Then, the Phoenix said 'Screw that' and more mutants began appearing." Something about that dialogue just pisses me off to an unsettling degree. And then, the way that the event deals with dealing the Phoenix Five is just facepalm worthy, and Scott as Dark Phoenix is the most laughably pathetic yet overpowered villain I've ever seen. From there, the story devolves into nonsense, and it will make you want to punch someone. And then, there's Adam Kubert's art. Story wise, this is the worst act of AVX, and art, wise, it would be the worst as well, but Oliver Copiel draws an issue making it that much easier to read. Kubert's art just has this messy and convulted feel to it, along with a style that I can never get used to. Imagine if Andy Kubert drew something, then Walter Simonson gave it a slick finish, but then Rob Liefeld decided to mess it all up. Yeah. But the biggest sin the entire act commits, is a flaw that's been prevelant through the event: The characters. The Phoenix 5 are actually characters the writers want some of the community to like, but they're nothing more than dicks. And then, there's Black Panther being the most inconsiderate, unbelievable asshole of all time. He DIVORCES STORM AFTER WAKANDA GETS FLOODED BY THE SUB-MARINER, AND T'CHALLA DOES IT JUST BECAUSE SHE'S AN X-MAN, EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO ACTUAL PART IN THE EVENT! That's fucking idiotic! I mean, Marvel was just trying to shake up the MU, but instead, it just pissed on the faces of fans, and said, here, this is our excuse for an event comic, now give us money. So yeah. Act 3 was quite possibly one of the most painful things I've ever had to read. Nearly Action Comics #22 painful. Worse than Avengers #4. 

What Trinity War does right, is that it's the payoff to a story Geoff Johns has been building up for two years. Avengers vs X-Men was simply a disaster than was a cash grab, and ruined a lot of creators for me. Despite some great art from Oliver Copiel, some decent writing from Johnathan Hickman, and a promising #0 issue, AVX simply failed due to lackluster art, and unbelievably terrible writing from everyone else. I was able to read a copy of this from my local library, (the massive hardcover), and I will tell you right now, don't even THINK of buying that overpriced turd. After reading Avengers vs X-Men, I read a couple of other notorious event comics, such as Civil War (which I actually really enjoyed), Fear Itself, House of M, and even an issue of Age of Ultron, and I can tell you right now. None of them even come close to the level of pain I suffered when reading AVX. Do. Not. Read. This.

ACT 1: 1.5/5

+ Promising but inconsistent #0 issue

+ Romita's art looks good for the first few issues

- Horrible character writing

- Romita's art quickly deteriorates

ACT 2: 2.5/5

+ Issue #6 was actually not bad

+ Oliver Copiel's art is enough to bump up the score by +1

- The writing gets so much worse after issue 6

ACT 3: 0/5

+ Copiel draws an issue!..

- But it's not enough to save this act.

- The writing is cringe inducing

- Kubert's art doesn't really work

- Black Panther, you asshole

- Kung-Fu Phoenix

VERDICT: 0.5/5